Volvo Trucks have an app for you…

OK, you are Volvo – you make cars, you make trucks. Naturally therefore you make apps to market things. So why not make an app about truck driving for android or iOS?

After all, that’s some engine. And twenty five years is a long time. So make an app. But make it simple, so rather than driving the truck maybe some kind of an obstacle game?

Obviously if you’re shoving people aside make them part of an out-group – a fast racer, a fat scooter rider or fashion conscious surfers.

Indeed, even the other vehicles are out-groups, pickup trucks, coaches, cars towing boats, a huge fish strapped on a 4×4 and ice cream vans.

Obviously there are Volvo billboards every now and then with the slogan “Volvo Trucks – Driving Progress”.

And Volvo even saw fit to include achievements for “removing” other vehicles from the road.

Have a watch of this video of the gameplay, I think this is just mad. I mean, if I was trying to make a spoof game I don’t think it would be much different.

But, Alex, you might say, this is ages old I mean it was made in 2011, and it’s not like Volvo are maintaining this game to keep it available.

But no, they’re still maintaining it to work on the latest devices (slowly).

Though it is alarmingly easy to drive through the objects you’re meant to be avoiding.

It’s a rubbish game, it’s a ridiculous waste of Volvo’s money and it’s possibly reinforcing attitudes on the road that are dangerous.

But I think this is more of an offensive oddity when the real problem is Volvo lobbying to get safer lorries delayed in the EU. That’s simply inexcusable. I don’t want games about trucks, I want trucks in our cities to be admitted only when they aren’t complete with huge blind spots that have been found to kill again and again.